I knew what was coming as soon as I saw the face peer in through my office door. Wednesday. Hump day. The start of a downhill ride to the weekend. Also the day I lost my job.
The preceding days were fraught with uncertainty and distress. The Friday before, the first thing I heard when I arrived that morning was that a first-year associate had been let go unexpectedly the night before. Within 15 minutes, I learned of another casualty from the evening before, this one a second-year. No announcement on the situation was forthcoming from firm management. Still, the rumor mill spun later that day with the news that two more associates would get the axe the following week. Another second-year received the news on Tuesday. And on Wednesday, me.
People close to me will tell you, part of me prayed I would be on the list of associates to be terminated because it would force me to go out and do something else, to get out of the rut I was stuck in. But I really was not prepared for it, as I thought I was, when it actually happened. I am thrilled to not be dragging myself out of bed to go to that job — and it was a job, not a career — every morning. And I’m happy to be doing the things I have been doing: going to the gym, working around the house, reading, watching television, and visiting family. But I know this is not a state of equilibrium, and it is uncomfortable not knowing what to do next.
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